Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
