Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
