i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
