she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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