How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
