P.S. I can't hear my feet
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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