he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
