they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
nutella sex= disaster
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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