It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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