He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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