I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
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the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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