you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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