Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize