Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
