Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.