Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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