I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
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I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize