i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize