Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Someone signed my nipple.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
