My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
