community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
false alarm, still single
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
