I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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