Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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