My entire life is one complicated drinking game
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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