I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
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Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
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There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back