i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window