oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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