i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
