I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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