i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize