No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
