i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
