Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm having to shit out rocks
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