I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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