you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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