He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
