I don't think brook has ever known best
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
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Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
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I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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