Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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