absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
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i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
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He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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