Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
