Swine flu. Run for my life!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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