this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
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its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
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This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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