Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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