I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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