I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize