the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
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