She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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