Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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