living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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