Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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