Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
