he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
